My son is a bully
So yesterday I get home from work and the nanny tells me that my son is throwing things at, kicking and biting other children (not all on the same day thank G-d). We discussed an action plan and have a good strategy outlined, but I am disappointed. Am I a bad parent? Am I not spending enough time with my children? All these thoughts are running through my mind.
As background, my son, who is 3, has always been difficult. He doesn't really listen and typical punishments (time outs, loss of privileges) don't seem to alter his behavior. Positive reinforcement works, but only when an immediate reward is possible. He doesn't have a long enough attention span to remember that a reward will come at the end of the day or even the end of the morning. I am very frustrated with him, as he is in stark contrast to my angelic daughter who pretty much listens and does whatever she is told.
In diagnosing this specific problem, we realized that he has also been having potty training issues (see last post) where there were none before and taken together the acting out and potty training could be signaling a traumatic change in his little life. We realized that he recently started preschool, and although he went last year, he was only 3 days/wk and now he is 5. Also, because my daughter started kindergarten, we had to move his nap time so that she can be picked up from school. This is bad because if my son has a rough day, there is no opportunity for additional sleeping because we have to pick up my daughter. Nap time can't be adjusted because it is sandwiched between preschool dismissal and picking up my daughter. So the first step of the plan is to move his bed time earlier.
The next step is to identify methods of feedback from the teacher and a positive/negative reinforcement system to go with that. My mom suggested having the teacher right a quick good or bad behavior note that my son would have to share with myself and husband every day. If he was good then institute positive reinforcement (i.e., extra book with mom or dad); if he is bad institute negative reinforcement (i.e., time out in room, no TV).
We think this is a good strategy, but my son has been so difficult I am asking you guys if you have any suggestions. Also has this happened to any of you? Am I a bad parent, or is this sort of normal to happen once in a while? I feel terrible.