Another sacrifice of Dr. Mom
I know I talked about this in one of my previous posts, but it is bothering me again. One of the greatest sacrifices that I have made to have both career and family is the sacrifice of my time, and particularly outside friendship. This is coming to light because I am in the middle of a disagreement in my family, and it strikes me that right now they are my major support. Although I am fairly extroverted, I have always found it difficult to form friendships that extend beyond work. For one thing, my time is so limited I can hardly keep my head above the water, making time for a weekly or even monthly girls night out feels selfish.
But another problem, at perhaps a deeper level, is that I often feel that I intimidate others, particularly the parents of other kids at school/preschool. As soon as I describe what I do, even in the most rudimentary form (i.e., I teach at the university), people are intimidated. It's not that I broadcast these activities, but what kind of work do you do is always a question that gets brought up somewhere in the initial conversations. Not to mention that my nanny does most of the child transporting so parents know that I work outside the home and are curious about what kind of work that is.
This, I think, as made me a little shy, and for the last several years I have had few close friends, and those I do have are directly involved in academics. I know that I should get more involved, especially in kids activities as this is a natural talking point, but I am always a little nervous about this. I guess I need to pluck up a little courage and make a little time and go for it.