The Grind

Well, things are beginning to settle down for me. The book chapter is revised, sent to the publisher and DONE! While I am still cranking through a grant proposal to be submitted next week, I have got most of the kinks worked out. I just wrapped up my conference season, giving my last talk yesterday. It went well, well attended lots of questions, no hostility. Despite all this 'success' I feel so drained.

My daughter's birthday is next week and I am embarrassed to say, my nanny has planned almost the entire party. I just haven't had time. I hadn't had a haircut since July, until I took off an hour from the conference to get it done. It felt great to be outside, in the sunlight, for a change, to be unencumbered. I can remember in undergrad when I used to go downtown to 'hang out.' I had no money, but I would go window shopping, read some books at Borders, buy a loaf of bread and some butter for lunch, and cap it off with a party in the evening. Somehow I don't think that I will ever be in that place again.

In many ways I feel like the vascular surgeon that you see on TV. The guy (and yes it is always a guy) who has no time for his family, for a life, and spends every waking moment working. The sad thing is I work far, far less than my collegues putting in a pretty consistent 40-45 hours, yet I still feel stretched tighter than a drum.

In my dream world, I would work 6 hour days. This seems to be the right balance for me, but right now this is unachievable. Oh well...this week I am taking it easy, clearing off my desk, getting that grant out, and gearing up to write a paper on all our awesome results from the last 9 months.